Facebook proved its worth! A good friend of mine from elementary school recently contacted me through the website to catch up and see how I'm doing. I know you might think it's weird to wanna talk to people you haven't had contact with for 12+ years, but I spent some important, formative years down in Savannah and a younger, more innocent part of me will always remain there. As I emailed Jason to let him know my abbreviated life story since leaving, I was struck with an ensemble of memories. I found myself asking after people I haven't thought about in years. Hell, Jason was my best friend back there and I really have never made any major effort to keep in touch with him or look him up. I sent a couple of letters early on, but I soon fell off in even that practice. How easy it is to let some people go. People you thought you would never abandon. Karen, Laura: do you still keep in touch with your friends from KC, even though you may have left them behind in a surplus of years and maturity? It seems strange sometimes. Is it in this way that I put __ aside or is that a different story completely? Why do I wallow in such old matters?
I often curse myself. Why was I granted such a mind? Such a memory? I hold so much in my rotten skull; things that ordinary folk would have discarded ages ago. Sometimes I wish I was a normal person with average intelligence. Am I meant to be part of some selective intelligentsia? Or is it all some bi-polar sense of pride? How did I get so off-track here? I had a point once; no longer it seems. As I seem to remember, this was meant to be a Valentine's Day themed post. Uhhhh . . . I guess. Well, Happy Valentine's Day then. I've drunkenly rambled too long. Many apologies. Maybe I'll provide some cheap amusement at the least.
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I still correspond with a couple friends from KC. I wouldn't be concerned if we fell out of touch, but I matain one of the relationships for shady reasons...he is getting married this year and I want to go. He a long time friend of one of my ex's. The "really long story ex" who, at the time, made a fool of me (though I let him) but has since gone on to make a fool of himself (babies/dugs/third rate employment). So, for my very selfish reasons, I want to see him again; or I should say I want him to see me again...and cry. haha
Now to answer your question from a few days ago - "I'm really going to regret this tomorrow..." - no, you are not the only one who seems to spend too much time thinking about the loves lost. It IS normal to think about someone who you cared for and wonder how they are now (whether you hope good or evil). You just don't want to pine away for a relationship that didn't work out for a reason; it is a waste of time.
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