My totally sweet life: Part 3*

*DEE-PRESSING! If I was you I would skip this and wait for more light-hearted fare. Even better, how about going back and reading the awesome illustration post I spent 6 hours on that no one seemed to appreciate?

* * *

Today was shit. More court, more drama at work with the boss, more truck dilemmas, more mounting money problems, more feelings of depression and worthlessness and hopelessness and wanting to up and join the USMC and go to Iraq to take out all my fucking emotion and bottled-up rage on some fucking al-Qaeda insurgent and show him what a pissed off mentally ill American can do with an automatic rifle and a Ka-Bar. I did a lot of thinking about coming home tired and exhausted to write in this blog and bitch and complain about my crappy existence and how I would have preferred to have the brakes go out completely on the highway travelling at 65 mph instead of in a parking lot, making things a whole lot deader and therefore a whole lot simpler. The thoughts are gathering and gathering in my mind into a jet-black cloud of thunderous pain and self-loathing, swirling and whirling into a massive mental cyclone that spins off little tormenting tornadoes and shoots hot lightning-bolts of hate into every crevasse and synapse of my brain, and then, and then . . .

. . . and then I take a deep breath. I call my cousin. I get an urge to open my Bible. I read a couple of Psalms. And now I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is not today.

Psalm 6 verse 3-8:
Have pity on me, LORD, for I am weak; heal me, LORD, for my bones are trembling.
In utter terror is my soul --- and you, LORD, how long . . . ?
Turn, LORD, save my life; in your mercy rescue me.
For who among the dead remembers you? Who praises you in Sheol?
I am wearied with sighing; all night long tears drench my bed; my couch is soaked with weeping.
My eyes are dimmed with sorrow, worn out because of all my foes.

Psalm 69 verse 2-4, 14-18:
Save me, God, for the waters have reached my neck.
I have sunk into the mire of the deep, where there is no foothold. I have gone down to the watery depths; the flood overwhelms me.
I am weary with crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes have failed, looking for my God.

But I pray to you, LORD, for the time of your favor. God, in your great kindness answer me with your constant help.
Rescue me from the mire; do not let me sink. Rescue me from my enemies and from the watery depths.
Do not let the floodwaters overwhelm me, nor the deep swallow me, nor the mouth of the pit close over me.
Answer me, LORD, in your generous love; in your great mercy turn to me.
Do not hide your face from your servant; in my distress hasten to answer me.

- The Dunce-cap Marvel is hoping that God answers prayers that pertain to the Cincinnati Reds.