Idiots + automobiles = brain aneurysm
I wholeheartedly believe you should be forced to take a driver competentcy exam when you get your license renewed. Even better, every new car should be outfitted with a special 'Bad Driver' computer that must be turned on in order to start the ignition. This computer monitors and records your dumb-ass vehicular maneuvers and rules infractions and then transports them via wireless or magical means to the local sheriff's office. Tickets are then issued to your home. Or just added onto your credit card. But for now, here are some pointers.
- In a multi-lane highway, the fast lane is always the left-most lane. For instance, if there are two lanes travelling in the same direction, the left lane is the fast lane. Although the term is quite ambiguous, the fast lane is for faster-moving traffic. If you are in the fast lane going the speed limit and a faster vehicle approaches behind you, you should only take one action. Get into the right-hand lane. For no reason should you be going 55 in a 65 zone and travelling in the fast lane. And don't get mad if your dumb-ass doesn't get over and I ride your tail, flash my blickers and high-beams, and finally give you a dirty look when I am forced to pass you on the right. The Germans are able to utilize this simple system at very great speeds; no reason you can't either.
- If I am trying to parallel park in front of my building (unit) and the driveway is very narrow, be a little patient. No point in trying to rush past and almost hit me. You're not one person trying to push past to get onto the bus; we're in large hunks of manipulable metal that can cause quite a bit of damage and be expensive to repair. Besides, karma's a bitch. Your snobby, sorority, slut butt may be in a hurry to get to chapter so you can talk about how you got drunk and fucked Parker Thomas from Pi Kappa Alpha last night, but you'll never make it there when your daddy's SUV flips and you're trapped inside as the gas tank explodes. All I'm saying is take your time.
- The Bev Pull-out is a fully sanctioned and acceptable maneuver in Beverly, MA or anywhere in New England. But don't try it here in Georgia please.
- This has nothing to do with your driving or your choice of transportation. I'm sure a moped is a fine means of conveyance. But please don't take up my parking spot with it. I don't really like having to work around it when I parallel park. Can't you just pull it up on the curb or something? It weighs like 7 pounds.
Just think about what you are doing people and we can all get where we are going without mishap or broken blood vessels.
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